In the midst of chaos and even when facing the illusion of death, we need only take those few precious moments, turn our faces upward to the warming embrace of an early Spring sun, and remember the truth of all that is Eternal.
I've been running, running, running....trying to keep up with a seemingly endless list of errands and things that must be taken care of. Hospice meetings, medications, homecare agencies, grocery and supply shopping....and trying to keep up with the much needed repairs of my Mother's 55 year old house.
I realized just lately the grace of being so busy, that it's been helping to alleviate my grief and sense of helplessness in watching the fading away of someone I love. I don't even recognize the person living in my body at present...so tired and sad....what happened to my sense of wonder and joy? Why can I not maintain that even in the face of an ensuing death? It's not as if I believe that death is any kind of final ending...intellectually I know better and do not embrace that kind of thinking spiritually either and yet, I am having great difficulty during this time. Not taking care of myself well enough, trouble sleeping, intense dreams...why am I having such a hard time with all of this? I really thought, after all my experience with the dying process, both with human and animal clients, that I would not be so affected, but the raw truth is that I feel utterly sad and overwhelmed.
So, I am endeavoring to lighten up, let go of the awfulness, focus on the amazing moments of love and laughter with my Mom, and simply be grateful for the opportunity to help her through this last phase of her life as well as all the amazing and loving people helping me to care for her. I am trying to take better care of myself....and this photo was a part of that pledge....a few stolen moments, with camera in hand, when suddenly feeling lifted by the now obvious signs of a burgeoning Spring, I remembered to look up and knew once again that the Love of God is always there, inside of us and everywhere surrounding us, that Eternal presence, patiently waiting for our awareness to open the door to joy once again.
March 27th, 2014
Viewed 1,475 Times - Last Visitor from Kiez, 12 - Germany on 09/13/2022 at 11:03 PM